START: pgs 173-187

START: Punch Fear In The Face, Escape Average,
Do Work That Matters - Jon Acuff

Don't become a jerk.  Don't get lazy.  Don't get entitled.  Easier said than done.  How do you avoid the traps that spring up?  You don't face them alone.  Cultivate crop circles of support. The level of support you need is highest in the center and lowest on the edges.

Three circles of support:
1- Inner Circle: Spouse
The worst place for a spouse is on the opposite side of your dream.  This causes you to lean harder into awesome and father push your spouse away.  

2- Middle Circle: Friends & Family
Family and friends may not understand your dream.  The natural response will be to either change your tactics of communication or lash out.  Instead of reacting in a bad way when someone doesn't understand, give them patience.  Don't be upset if they never understand your dreams perfectly.  Don't be devastated and don't think it's because you failed to explain it the right way.  It's your dream and not theirs.  Expect some disconnect. 

3- Outer Circle: Fellow Travelers
The outer support circle is full of people who are on their own roads to awesome.  They can challenge you, motivate you, and celebrate with you. 

Make action payments.  Words are cheap when it comes to dreaming.  Action always beats words.  Action always beats intention.  Erase previous intentions that have gone bad, with action payments.

Master how instead of wow.  There are two types of people, the How and the Wow.  The Wow person tends to be a dreamer.  They come up with big ideas and dreams and wild plans.  They bounce off the walls with what might be.  The How person tends to be the strategist.  They want the details and the steps and the logistics of any situation.  They're both great approaches to life, but aren't always compatible.  The Wow person comes up with an impulsive (and sometimes unrealistic) idea, and the How person asks "How is that going to work?".  This causes the Wow person to take offense because they think they're being attacked.  Eventually the Wow person stops sharing their dreams.  It's not that they stop dreaming, they just stop sharing them with a How spouse, a How friend, etc.

You should probably include a "Wow disclaimer"...."I'm not going to empty the savings account."  "I'm not going to sell the house." if you want to keep the How person invested. 

The best thing you can do to get support for your dream is to support someone else's first.  When you run into a wall of resistance or indifference, stop asking yourself "How can I get them to support my dream?" and instead ask, "How can I be a fan of their dream?" 

Tell a friend who is having a hard time understanding what you're trying to do, "You know what I'm passionate about, but what is something that you're passionate about?"  "Is there a way I can help you pursue that?"  If you want help for your dream, start by helping someone else with their dream.  If you want support for your hope, start by giving support to someone else's hope. If you want encouragement as you work on your calling, start by encouraging other people.  Giving support is often the best way to get it.

Motivation is a powerful tool.  You'll work-out more often if you have a work-out partner.  You won't be as likely to cheat on your diet or skip exercise, if you have someone going through it with you.  You'll get that exercise in, or forgo the snack, if you know someone else is tracking you. 

Excitement is not the same thing as arrogance.  Talking about a project you knocked out of the park doesn't mean you're cocky.  celebrating some accomplishment or goal doesn't make you a jerk. 

---------------------------------------

Personal Notes:

Wow.  I use that word alot!

My greatest support source is my middle circle.  I know it should be my spouse, but he is more like a Wow person and I am more of a How person.  He can be impulsive and not consider the effect of his actions/decisions/choices, on others.  He seldom comes with a "Wow disclaimer".   To be honest, I kind of feel like the Wow person who eventually stops sharing my dreams, hopes and concerns, because I feel like I've been attacked, cut-down, shut-down, and ignored when I've tried to share them with my spouse. 

My family and my friends are the ones who encourage me and support me.  I cannot thank them enough for believing in me, even when I don't believe in myself.  To be told that someone envies me because I had the courage to take the first step toward continuing my education....I don't take that as a stroke to my ego, I take it as a "pat on the back" and encouragement.  It tells me that I'm doing something good, and sometimes I just need to know that I'm on the right track and someone notices. To have someone ask me how I'm doing in my classes, that shows someone cares.

I have some pretty awesome friends and I know I take them for granted, but I do appreciate them.

I see so many ways I can relate to today's reading.  I see a little of the impulsive in me, but I know the How person is far more stronger than the Wow person in me.  I am constantly asking "How is this going to work?", both in my head and even to my spouse, and some family members. 

My weakness is that I do not invest enough time in supporting and encouraging others.  I get so caught up in my own troubles that I forget to invest in the welfare of others.  I am trying.  I do try.  The last thing I want to be doing, is being like one particular person in my life, who dominates phone conversations and people-to-people conversations, with their own voice.  There is no room in their conversations and interactions, for others to have cares, concerns, dreams, hopes, worries.  It's all about them, most of the time.  I don't want to be like that, and reminding myself of that helps me to do better at being more supportive and encouraging.

I find inspiration in the outer-circle of people, that I encounter.  They accomplish things I want to accomplish.  Sometimes they walk the paths that I want to walk. 

Dr Oz - Toxic Sabotage

I'm sitting here watching Dr Oz and his Toxic Sabotage show.  Wow. 

In the first relationship featured on the show, the family shown is a mother and daughter.  The mother sabotaging her daughter with her words.  I don't think that in all cases, the "sabotager" knows or understands how their words hurt.  I can see in this relationship that the mother is not fully clued in to how her words hurt.  When I look at my father, I think he is more like this mother.  He may have had good intentions with his words, but he did not understand that the way he was going about it, was not healthy for me.  His words didn't motivate, they devastated me and caused me to retreat within myself.  When the psychologist on the show called the mother a "bully" and explained why she was a bully, I was able to understand that my father was being a bully as well.

The third relationship featured a diabetic woman and her "cook" husband.  Of course, he's thin and she's heavy.  You don't even have to go past this description, to see an initial similarity here.  The man cooks good food, but not the kind of food that his wife should be eating.  How many times have I talked about how my husband makes cakes, cookies, fudge, rice crispies, and other sweet treats!  While his soda does not tempt me at all, the chips, M & M's, cinnamon rolls, and some of the junk food he consumes....that DOES tempt me.  I cannot keep it out of my house, and I am not totally able to ignore it when it's in the house.  I don't think he fully understands what I am up against, just like the husband in this show....either that or he doesn't care.  It's easy, I think, for a person who does not have health issues or a weight problem, to not understand why another person struggles.

The thing that I struggle with most here, is that I feel like I am the only one in my relationships, who recognizes the problems and who is willing to work on change.  How do you succeed in change when the other person in the relationship, is not willing to admit that they are part of the problem?

My life is at stake.  I do face potential blindness, possible kidney failure, possible amputation and even possibly dying....IF I do not get things together and healthy.   I cannot continue to ignore my problem.  It's not going away.  I can only possibly control the negatives by working on my health.

The way I feel right now, I feel like I have to find a way to TOTALLY control and discipline myself, or continue along my path of bad decisions and eventually I die. 

It's hard to be strong enough to control and discipline myself. 

START; pgs 231-233

START: Punch Fear In The Face, Escape Average, Do Something That Matters - Jon Acuff

Chapter 06 - Self Reflection Questions:

#5- Survey your life and decide if there's ever been something you experienced that made you think, I could do that better.  Was that the start of a dream that needs to be explored, like the taxi driver on pages 141-42.

#12- Sacrifice is an accelerant.  Create a list of things you are willing to sacrifice in the pursuit of awesome.  Later, when you're mad that you didn't get to go somewhere or do something because you were focused on the long-term win, review this list and remember why.

#13- Create a full box of ammo for why you won't give up before you get to awesome.  Some days, "working so my kids have a brighter future" will be enough.  Other days, "Friends who hold me accountable: will be enough.  In the moments when it gets hard to keep going, you'll be glad you have 101 reasons not to quit.

----------------------------------------

Personal Notes:

#5- I have a couple events in my life that I could have done better. 
I could have handled my volunteer work at the hospital better.  I could have approached going to college, the first time, with better intent and more focus.  In my 20's I could have thought about the long-term aspects of my life, rather than the immediate gratification.

Had I been paying attention, and had I focused on an education and career, I would have recognized that a career in Health Care was where I wanted to go with a career.

#12- I can afford to sacrifice a couple aspects in my life, in order to pursue awesome.  I can sort out awesome from hobbies.

#13- I will not quit because:  I need to have a way for financial stability.  I need to be able to afford to live on more than a dead-end job, with minimum wage pay.  I want a house of my own.  I want to be able to spend time with my kids, and someday grandkids.

START: pgs 156-162

START: Punch Fear In The Face, Escape Average, Do Something That Matters, Jon Acuff

The road to awesome is hard work. 
Don't confuse "building up your dream" with "burning out your dream."
Don't be afraid to take a break, to walk away and catch your breath.

Be careful about expectations.  Be honest about them.

When we realize that expectations can cause damage, our natural response is to think "Stupid expectations!  I'll fix them by never having any."  That type of thinking doesn't work.  It's impossible to have no expectations.  It also doesn't work because it becomes a protectionist move.  This turns into "If I get my hopes up and it doesn't come true, I'll be hurt." 

Crazy expectations are not necessarily a bad thing.  You can't dream without creating expectations, and they can be an encouraging source of motivation.  Expectations of the future can inspire you to reach for things that feel impossible in the present. 

What you have sown grown will now come to fruitition.
The things you harvest do matter--that's the joy of doing work that matters.
-------------------------------------

Personal Notes:
I get so caught up in impulsive thoughts and expectations.  The initial excitement of new things usually is followed by overwhelming pressure to keep up or succeed.  I've never been able to control expectations, they usually control me.

START; pgs 148-156

START; Punch Fear In The Face; Escape Average; Do Something That Matters, By Jon Acuff

The road through Mastering is littered with bullhorns.  Don't pick them up, they're only distractions from your passion.  If you grab the bullhorn too soon, you won't learn that to be awesome you need to spend more time practicing your dream than you do promoting your dream.  The temptation to spend more time on promoting what you're doing instead of practicing what you're doing.  Promoting makes people thing you're already a master.  Practicing is what makes you a master.  There's a big difference between practicing and promoting. 

Someone is going to hate what you do.  Haters are inevitable. 

Hate leads to a wound.  Constructive criticism leads to an improvement.
Hate's motive is to hurt.  Constructive criticism's motive is to help.
Hate is an anchor.  Constructive criticism is a gift.

Two Important Questions to ask yourself when dealing with haters:
1- Who said it?
Was it a close friend or a complete stranger?  Was it someone who is interested in building you, or bringing you down?  Was it someone who is helping you? or shutting down your dreams?  Don't receive hate as if you're receiving it from someone who knows us.  Don't be so quick to give hate, or words, so much power. 

2- Why did they say it?
What was their motive?  Were they exposing a blind spot in my life so that I can improve? Are they mad about something completely different, and just looking to lash out at anyone who crosses their path?  Reflect before you act.

The next time you get hate, make sure it's not valuable criticism from someone who is trying to help you get better.

Don't discount compliments.  Don't ignore them and keep walking.

1 insult  + 1,000 compliments = 1 insult.  This is faulty thinking.
Critic's math is something that everyone struggles with.
It doesn't instantly go away with success.
Every time you believe critic's math, you make it more powerful.
Fear and doubt are like muscles.  Every time you believe a lie, it gets easier to believe the next time.
Don't let the temptation to stop along your journey to awesome and engage with fear and doubt.

Be gracious and polite, and then keep moving so that your words are true as you leave the haters behind you.

----------------------------------------

Personal Notes:

I have never dealt well with "haters".  I am someone who takes their words to heart and curls up in the fetal position to "lick my wounds" and even feel sorry for myself.  I had never realized that in my warped thinking, that "1 insult + 1,000 compliments = 1 insult".

I've empowered fear and doubt, by believing their lies and deceit. 

My other problem is that when I ask the "Who" and "Why", sometimes I find that the who is someone who is supposed to care about me and be interested in my best interests.  Instead they beat me down, drag me down, and shut me down. 

START: pgs 135-148

START; Punch Fear In The Face, Escape Average, Do Something That Matters, Jon Acuff.

A dream that you don't have to fight for isn't a dream-- it's a nap.  While naps are delightful, they do very little to move you closer to awesome.  Awesome changes your world.  Awesome is not a casual affair.  There's always some degree of scuffle and opposition.  As long as you're pursuing your true awesome, you won't shrink from a fight.

To be more awesome at whatever you've chosen, find your version of rehab- somewhere you can practice being awesome.  Get experience.  Volunteer.  Take a part-time job.  Be led.

Sometimes along the way a sense of impatience and even entitlement, gets tangled with our sense of entrepreneurship.  We're so desperate to be "the one" right away.  We're so eager to start our own course, that we don't think we need to be led.  Don't lose the value of wise counsel.  Don't lose the honor of sitting under someone else's leadership.  Don't lose the joy of building something slowly, that impacts multiple generations and not just our lives.

Be led.  Be taught.  Remain a learner.   Don't avoid opportunities to gain experience and wisdom.

Do reps.  If you want to get better at something, do the reps.

We often think talent is the key to awesome.  If you pull back the curtain, you find it takes an incredible amount of work. 

-----------------------------

Personal Notes:
This all scares the crap out of me.  Fear and doubt are creeping up on me again, making me listen to questions of "who do you think you are? what will make you special? do you really think you're good enough?  what makes you think they'll choose you? you have a strong history of failure, what makes this time different?" 

I'm not a quitter!  I have to make changes, both now, short-term, and long-term.  I have to be ready, and my time is running out.  Illinois is looming up ahead and I have to be ready!

START: pgs 122-134

START; Punch Fear In The Face; Escape Average; Do Something That Matters, by Jon Acuff

What does success look like?
What destination feels like success?
Which path feels good, but not great?
Which path feels ok, but not awesome?

It's not too late to be a great parent.
It's not too late to start a new profession.
It's not too late to go back to school.
It's not too late to be something different.

When we stop believing that, we let fear and doubt cripple us.
"It's too late" is a lie that will stay with you if you let it.

It's never too late to start.

Pick something and start.  Don't try to prioritize a list of your passions.  
Start on something. Edit it if it's not your awesome.  Move on to the next thing.

Most of the time we try to stand in the middle of the passion seesaw and balance perfectly.  We're afraid to pick the wrong thing, so we just hover there instead of jumping to one side. 

Be the person you've always dreamed of being.  Be your secret self. 
---------------------------
Personal Notes:
I'm starting to let my secret self come out.

Shakeology NoBake Cookies

Shakeology No-Bake Cookies:

1 cup natural peanut butter
1 cup quick-cook oatmeal
1/2 cup honey or agave nectar
1 cup Chocolate Shakeology powder

Preparation:  First, remove any rings you're wearing and wash your hands.  Combine ingredients in medium bown and using hands, mix well. Roll into balls (about 1 heaping teaspoon each). 

Optional: Roll balls in crushed nuts, oatmeal mixed with a little cinnamon, whole-grain graham cracker crumbs, or unsweetened coconut flakes.   Makes 10 cookies.

From your "myshakeology" page under deserts.

START; How Do You Define Awesome? pgs 111-122

START; Punch Fear In The Face, Escape Awesome, 
Do Work That Matters, by Jon Acuff

Awesome is the core of who you are.  It is your heart, your soul; it is what makes you, you.  A job title is just a consequence of you living out of your awesome.  Being awesome is about finding the core of who you are and what lights you up.  Be the best version of you.

Awesome doesn't let the crowd determine the size of the performance.  Awesome has a huge heart.

Inside the land of editing, you have to decide what in your life is going to be a diamond and what is going to be a rock.  You make that decision.  You assign value to the things in your life, and that value will radically change how you interact with them.

Diamonds are hidden in plain sight right in front of you.  Time is the only honest indication of what really matters to us.  Intentions are ambitious liars.  If you ask your intentions what your diamonds are right now, they will tell you whatever it is you want to hear.  

If you want to know what the diamonds and rocks are in  your life, check your calendar....meaning, take a look at what you do in your day.  Where do you spend the bulk of your time?

Do not chase awesome with a definition made from someone else.

-----------------------------------------

Personal Notes:

I sure waste a lot of time.

I've also allowed my awesome be defined by a definition made by someone else.

What could I be changing?  I could be incorporating exercise into my day.  I could be more productive between 8-5.  I could still turn my priority list into a better version.

I hurt.

Hip Hop Abs

Ever heard of Hip Hop Abs, by Shaun T?  Ever seen the infomercial?  Well, I got my Hip Hop Abs DVD and I started it today.  This old girl needed to learn how to dance, anyway.  Best part is that I bought it off the info on the infomercial, and I got it for cheap!  If you wanna get it for yourself, or one of the other awesome BeachBody programs, contact me for more info!  If I can do this, so can you! Short work-out, which is for those who are short on time! Why put off until tomorrow, what you can do today? 

Check this out by starting with a FREE Beachbody account!

I'm kinda uncoordinated, so for me to take this on, it's a challenge.  I personally re-did a segment of it until I felt I had it down.  I originally thot to ignore this program, because I thot that it would contain that kind of music that I really don't care for.  I love music, but I do not care for Hip Hop music.  Anyway, the stuff I don't like isn't there.  I need to learn how to dance anyway, and this looks to help me get some coordination as well.  Easy and quick!

 

START; What Gives You Joy? pgs 103-111

START; Punch Fear In The Face, Escape Average, 
Do Work That Matters, by Jon Acuff

Learning is about addition.
Editing is about subtraction.

What passions, dreams, hopes, and callings will you take into this journey?
Which will you leave on the side of the road?

We add complexities to our challenges because if the problem is simple to solve, then we have to change.  Change is scary.  When faced with a challenge we don't want to fix, we tend to over complicate the issues.  The great temptation with the editing stage is when the "fog" rolls in.  Rather than edit our lives, we start to make decisions and cloud our path, and then pretend there's a fog of complexity.  This causes us to retreat and go back to what we've always known....average.  The dreams you've always had but refuse to actually work on, tend to create hidden piles you don't have to look at, unless you really force yourself to.

If you choose to be awesome, you aim for a whole lot more exclamation points and a whole lot fewer question marks.

What gives me the most joy?

The real life change and the joy of being who you are designed to be, always results in selflessness, not selfishness.

Edit your life, search through the things you're passionate about.  Don't buy the lie that changing the world has to be a chore or make you miserable.  Be brave enough to have fun with whatever you decide to do in life.

------------------------------------

Personal Notes:

How many times have I clouded up a situation, in an attempt to distract from the issue and put it off!  That is such a habit of mine!  This is also what has kept me on the road to average, and stuck in my perceived comfort zone. 

What gives me the most joy?  Honestly?  LAUGHTER!  It makes me feel good, makes me happy, and makes me want to conquer the world.  I may be a shy person, but I enjoy being around people and making people happy.  Don't get me wrong, I'm no comedian and I do not tell awesome jokes.  But I like to see people happy, I like to bring "happy" into other people's lives. 

This direction I've taken in my college endeavor, is about making people happy.  It is about working with people, talking to people, and making a difference in their lives. 

I have gotten so deep into the road to average, that I forgot what awesome was like.  I lost the laughter.  I lost the joy of having contact with other people.  I locked myself into a self-imposed prison, my comfort zone, and before I knew it...the walls were three feet deep and there was no easy escape. 

Someone who used to live by me, gave me a little "refresher course" on the joys of being around people again, and finding laughter again.  Fortunately I will, in a few months, get to be around her again and laugh again.  After that, I will have gotten most of my college education done and will be able to enter the work field again, and be around people there.  Most of all, returning home means I will be able to be around family again. 

It definitely is time to stop making excuses (clouds) and stop creating more obstacles (excuses) to distract from the issue...and just START opening myself up more to laughter and being around people.  I'm on my way!  :)

START: Be a Student of You! Ch 04, pgs 89-101

START; Punch Fear In The Face; Escape Average;
Do Work That Matters, by Jon Acuff

The path through the land of learning may feel like a maiden voyage, but we've hidden clues along this road.  The clues are about what we really love doing.  Clues can come from strange places...like post-it notes, on the back of envelopes or scraps of paper!  Pay attention!  They're hiding in plain sight.

Instead of asking "What would I love to start doing?", ask "What can I not stop doing?"

Be a student of you!  Don't walk down the road to awesome as if you've never been awesome before.  You've succeeded at something.  Something came naturally and something worked.  How old are you?  You have that many years of experience.

The way you pass through the land of learning, is that you try a bunch of things.  Fear would love for you to try just one, get discouraged, and then march right back to average.   Give yourself some room to make mistakes and to mess up.  That is what learning is all about.  Do "it" once, then twice, then thrice, and then ten times, and before you know it, you're out of the land of learning.  Every journey has a first step.  Every dream has its first destination.

Experiment.  That's the action you have to embrace in the land of learning.  Everyone who succeeds, learns from experimentation.

No matter what fear and doubt tell you, your identity is not at stake with the decisions you make and the actions you take as you learn.  You were you from the start and you will still be you when you're at the end....only more awesome.

------------------------------------------

Personal Notes:

I guess this calls for self-reflection and self-examination. 
I posted on a hometown Facebook page, the question "Are there any former candystripers out there?"  What's a candystriper?  A young teen-age girl who volunteers for about 3 hours a week, in a hospital.  The details may be different today, but that's what it involved during my time doing this.  I enjoyed being a candystriper, and I often volunteered for extra shifts. 

It was during that time in my life that I realized that I was drawn to caring for and helping people.  Unfortunately I was too immature back then, to follow the path that this experience provided.  I made it to the "door", but I never ventured into the awesome territory.

I got distracted and chose to stay in the average territory.  I didn't invest fully into my college classes after high-school.  I didn't pursue the health care career.  I threw away a good paying job that offered a future.  Wasn't my dream job, but it was a good one.  Instead, I fooled around, got pregnant, got married, and took the harder road in life, the one disguised as easy and comfortable.  I ended up working in a lot of dead-end jobs (Burger King, McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Bakers Square, Casey's).  I banked on the belief (misconception) that I had plenty of time and could "get serious" later.

Here I am, about 30-32 years after my time as a candystriper, and I still have that same interest I had back then.  It would be so much easier today, if I had invested in awesome and gotten the college degree and opened the door to potential. 

So the question asks "What can I not stop doing?" and I am going to expand that question into "What can I not stop thinking about?  What is it that I really wanted to do, all along?"

I want that job in the health care field!  I'm working on the degree that I need, to do that.
I want my own house!  I'm working on cleaning up my credit, so I can have that.
I enjoy working on genealogy, but I do not feel that this is the career direction for me.
I enjoy scrapbooking, but that is not where my path leads.
I enjoy music, but I am not talented in this subject.
I enjoy reading, but that is not something to build a career on.
I would love to be an elementary education teacher, but that's not possible right now.

It was when I learned that I cannot pursue the elementary education teaching career, that I learned where my true passion had been all along.  I need and want to follow the Health Care path.

I've already STARTed.  I'm going thru the learning stage right now, in my path to get there.

I think the other things, like genealogy, scrapbooking, reading and music, will be nice hobbies.

7 Healthy Cooking Tricks

1- Cook with the right sources of protein.
Eggs, Poultry, lean red meat, fish, pork, whey protein powder.

2- Cook with the best fat burning oils.
Olive Oil, Macademia Nut Oil, Coconut Oil

3- Spice It Up.
Black Pepper, helps reduce constipation & gas.
Turmeric, lowers blood sugar, helps block fat gain
Cinnamon, helps control blood sugar, boosts immune system, promotes healthy digestive system
Ginger, combats nausea, metabolic boosting
Garlic, detoxifies the body, loosens up fat for fat burning
Cayenne Pepper, metabolism booster, increases calories burned
Chili Powder, metabolism booster

4- Stop cooking with UN-metabolic ingredients
Margarine- slows down metabolism
Vegetable Oil- slows down metabolism
Calorie-Wise Salad Dressing- contain harmful ingredients
Processed Protein- example: deli meet, added preservatives
High Sodium Seasonings- causes body to hold onto water
Cream- high saturated fat, calories
White Flour- promotes spiked insulin levels & fat gain
Brown Sugar- promotes food cravings

5- Start Creating Your Own Metabolic Salad Dressings
Key ingredients to consider: Mustard (boosts metabolism), Apple Cider Vinegar (detoxifies liver, increases metabolism), White & Red Wine Vinegar (improves body's response to glucose), Lemons (decreases cravings, keeps glucose levels stable)

6- Prepare your own fat torching seasonings
Parsley, improves digestion and elimination, regulates blood sugar levels
Basil, dulls appetite level
Oregano, reduces bloating
Rosemary, calms body, reduces stress

7- Prepare recipes with plenty of Metabolic Thermo-Charged Free Veggies
Cruciferous Veggies- broccoli, brussel sprouts, cabbage, cauliflower
Gourds- cucumbers
Green Leafy Veggies- Kale, Lettuce, Spinach
Nightshade Veggies- Eggplant, peppers, tomatoes
Root Veggies- carrots, celery, onions, radishes, turnips

START; 30 Minutes! Ch 04, pgs 77-89

START; Punch Fear In The Face; Escape Average;
Do Work That Matters, by Jon Acuff

Chapter 04

The road to awesome is not easy, it requires time.
Change has to be simple, easily manageable, or we fail before we start.  We can add on other changes down the road, but when we're beginning our journey, we need to get one thing right: one tiny taste of progress.  The mountain can wait, it's been there for years and will be there tomorrow.  We don't have to do it all at once.  We don't have to rescue our entire year at the beginning of our journey.  START with 30 minutes in the week.  This is the single, biggest, most important thing you can do.

Don't be selfish at the wrong time of the day.  Carve out a time in your day and claim it.  If your dream isn't worth thirty minutes, you either have the wrong dream or you are just pretending to have one.  Nobody invests this "selfish time" on the road to average.

Five-Step Secret To Getting It All Done:
1- Admit that you can't possibly get it all done.
2- Give yourself the grace to accept that as reality, not failure.
3- Do the things you can do, with your full attention.
4- Celebrate what happens during step 3, instead of obsessing over things you didn't do.
5- Repeat as necessary.
Start on step 1, if you can get that done, you're 99% of the way there and will have a better grasp on being more awesome, more often.

When your life flashes before your eyes, you start to realize how you've been taking things for granted.  At that point your life will never be the same again.  Create in your mind, a life changing event.  Ask yourself  "If I died today, what would I regret not doing?" and "Are those things I'm spending time doing, right now?"  Let these questions become driving motivation in your life, from now on.  "Am I content to remain on the road to average?"  "Do I want to wake up at age 70 wondering where all the time went?"

#1 Regret of The Dying:
"I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."
Health brings a freedom very few realize until they no longer have it.  For the average person, the reality of death is the only thing more powerful than the fear of living the life we deserve.

 --------------------------------------------

Personal Notes: 
I could be investing my "30 minutes" earlier in the day, after he goes to work and the kids go to school.  I could be investing my 8-5 in a much more constructive manner.  I admit that.  I have been investing time in the 10pm-12am (sometimes up to 2 am) in being constructive with school work and motivational inspiration.   I am a late-night person.  I know one thing that I need to invest time in, and that is gym time.  Perhaps I need to invest time in that, during the 8am-12pm time.

- If I died today, what would I regret not doing?
1- I would regret not having spent more time with my family.
2- I would regret not having used my time wisely.
3- I would regret not having had a productive career, college education, and accomplishment.

-Are those things I'm spending my time doing, right now?
No.  I waste a lot of time and I am very unproductive.

-Am I content to remain on the road to average?
No.  I am not content to remain in my "comfort zone" any longer.

-Do I want to wake up at age 70 wondering where all the time went, and with regrets?
No.  I wake up now, in my mid-40's, wondering why I have wasted so much time.  I have allowed Fear and Doubt keep me wasting time, because I have believed in their lies.

So I Change.

There comes a time when you have to move on.  
I'm choosing to FOCUS on what I need to do, to be a better and happier person.  I'm tired of crying, being filled with doubt, and being afraid.

These books are really hitting home with me! I'm tired of having "Fear & Doubt" as constant companions and I'm ready to move on. I'm done with excuses that keep "Procrastination" as another companion. In the SMART book, the question was asked "What do you do when all the excuses you used to not chase your dream are gone? What do you do then?" So, I ask this question: What do you do when you're tired of making excuses, you're tired of having Doubt, Fear & Procrastination as companions? The answer for me is: You move on and those people who choose to go with you are lifelong friends and people who love you. Those who choose to remain with Doubt, Fear & Procrastination, well, they stay in a miserable state. I am getting angry with my previous choice of companions and negative influences. I'm tired of carrying excess baggage, both mentally and physically. It's time to move on!

I'm choosing to FOCUS on what I need to do, to be a better and happier person.  

I'm tired of crying and being afraid.

 I am the author of the future pages of my book and I choose to be happy.

START; What Does The Internal Voice Tell Me? Finishing Ch 03, pgs 64-75

START; Punch Fear In The Face; Escape Average;
Do Something That Matters, by Jon Acuff

Why have we not spent more time being awesome in our life so far?
We probably got stuck in the forest of voices.

What have the voices told me?
~I'm not good enough, smart enough, up to the challenge.
~I'll be lucky to achieve "average".

No one has a Positive Internal Voice.
Most people believe the internal voice is telling them the truth.  We've heard them for so long that we trust them.  We think it's looking out for us, that it has our best interest in mind.  We think it's trying to protect us or help us, and that it's our friend.  It's not.  The voice is a voice of fear and doubt that gets loud when you do work that matters.

The first step you take on the road to awesome, "fear and doubt" stir from their slumber.  The minute the purpose door creaks on its hinges and you push it open, the pointy ears of fear and doubt perk up.  Continue the road to awesome, and fear and doubt begin whispering lies and confusing statements to get you back on the road to average, the safe path.

Fear and Doubt convey three basic messages:
1- Who are you to do that?  Regardless of what you want to do, or who you are, fear and doubt will always see you as wholly unqualified for anything you ever dream or attempt. 

2- You're too late.  You're behind.  You'll never get ahead.  Fear and Doubt try to tell you two main things about time: "Do it later" or "It's too late!"  The first delays you with laziness.  The second destroys you with regret.  Neither is true.  Fear and Doubts calendar always starts with yesterday or tomorrow.  The truth is that you have today, and today is all you need to start.  The rest will come into view as you go.

3- It has to be perfect.  "It will never work," and "It has to be perfect."  The first thought here tells you that no part of your dream or plan will succeed.  The second thought tells you that every part of it must succeed.  The reality is that Fear and Doubt will tell you that nothing is going to work out for the good.

Doubt and Fear are like muscles.  Every time you believe a lie about yourself, it gets easier to believe it the next time.  If you listen to the voice for the next ten years, they'll only be stronger in ten years.  They get louder and closer to the surface over time.

Don't become an emotional hoarder, storing up anger and bitterness before eventually thinking everyone is out to get us.

Two things you can do to beat the voices:

1- Document them.  Voices are invisible bullies and hate when you make them visible.  Write them down in a simple notebook.  Once you can visually see them, you will see how stupid they are.  Lies hate the light of day.  Every time you take a step toward awesome, and the voice shows up, write it down.

2- Sharing our voices.  Fear and doubt aim to make you feel alone, like you're the only one who feels a certain way.  Fear wants to isolate you.  As long as you keep your fear to yourself, no one can tell you the truth about it.  No one can help you see what is really going on, or encourage you.

The forest of voices is an insatiable black hole, gobbling up our time, energy and hope.

START.  And as you pass through the wall of purpose, kick over the ladder of entitlement, and fight back against the voices of fear and doubt.  The map to awesome will become clearer. 

--------------------------------------------

Personal Notes:

Wow!  Fear and Doubt have been working overtime on me.  They've kept me treading water when I could have been going the distance.  For as long as I can remember, I have been carrying around the three basic messages of Fear and Doubt.  I've always felt that I am a "nobody" and therefore "why bother?"  I've carried around the "You're too late!" for a long time.   This is what has kept me from enrolling in college classes and pursuing a college degree.  The "perfection" message has added to my lack of self-confidence and lack of belief in myself.  I have become an emotional hoarder, not only storing up anger and bitterness, but also guilt.  Guilt is a big one here.

I really don't like the idea of sharing my "voices" with others, but I will definitely put them down in writing. 

How Do You Pick Up The Pieces?

I'm really finding it difficult to come to terms with some things in my life.  I've been told to "forgive and forget" the wrongs.  It's not that simple!  It's actually easier to forgive, sometimes you forget, but there is one major part of this equation that is never mentioned:  How do you pick up the pieces?  How do you deal with the wreckage?  

Think of a tornado and the trail of damage that it leaves behind, once it disappears.  This is one aspect of my struggle.  The actual events and situations that caused the wreckage and damage are over.  The "tornado" has long since passed.  The destruction that it left behind, still remains.  I don't know how to begin picking up the pieces and put my life back together again.  How can I even try to do this, when I know there is still going to be a gaping void left by things that just cannot be.

I cannot fill the void in my life that requires someone to change and be a positive, rather than a negative.  I cannot replace them in their role in my life, and I cannot re-establish the role they should play in my life.  How do I move on, when I cannot fix this?  I know I have made mistakes and I know there have been times where I behaved badly.  There are also times in my life where I did NOT create the problem, I reacted to the problem, and I will NOT apologize for certain actions and decisions I made as a result of the problem.  I did NOT cause the problem!!!!  It was my responsibility to deal with the problem, and I did.  Period.  I was nicer than I probably should have been.

Note to a person in my life:
"I can forgive you for your actions.  I've already forgiven you for all of it.  I just do not know how to come to terms with the lack of relationship that we have.  Evidently I still need your approval, I still have a need to know that you do not think I am a total failure.  I need you to acknowledge that I have done good in my life.  I need you to stop looking me as the black sheep.  I am not evil.  I never have been.  I just wanted to be a normal person, with normal mistakes and accomplishments.  I wanted, and still want a normal life.  

My reality is clouded by your actions, and while I'm not asking for an apology for anything, I need you to acknowledge that you made mistakes.  I need you to know that your words, your actions, your behavior have all contributed to my crippled thinking.  When I look at myself in the mirror, I see a distorted image of myself, one that is based on your dictates.  This is one of the consequences of your actions that I live with daily.  I will live with the warped visual and mental picture of myself that you created.  You are the one who formulated my first impressions.  You taught me your prejudices and stereotypes.  You taught me that I am not good enough, unacceptable, disappointing, a failure and other things I won't post here.

I created an addiction because of the past interaction we have had.  I live with this addiction and it has been a part of my life, for the most part of my life.  I will live with this addiction for the rest of my life.  This addiction is one of the consequences of our interaction.  I chose the addiction as a way to cope with my crippled thoughts, now I do not know how to stop the addiction.

You do not see the consequences that I live with daily.  I do not think you understand that there are consequences to your actions, and the true depth of what your actions and behaviors have done to me.  In your eyes you have done nothing wrong, and therefore you have nothing to concern yourself with.  You have written me off.  

There is one important thing that I have learned from you, that has changed my life in a positive way.  You have taught me who I do not want to be, and I have ensured that I do not carry on the actions and behaviors that you damaged me with.  I choose to have compassion.  I choose to care about how my actions affect others.  I choose to form my own opinions and relationships, based on giving everyone a fair chance.  I choose to not hurt others physically or emotionally.  I choose kindness.  I will not condemn,cripple, or criticize people in my life, with words that destroy their self-confidence or self-image."

I am unable to forward these words to the proper recipient, and I am not able to close out my words with a proper ending.  I just need to express how I feel in the hope that somehow I can find a way to close out this chapter in my life in a positive way.  I'm still no closer to coming to terms with it.  I am no closer to understanding how to move on.  I just want to know how to pick up the pieces of my life and how to stop living in the shadows of the past.

Enough for now.

START: "Reality Check" pgs 53-64

Start: Punch Fear In The Face; Escape Average;
Do Work That Matters, Jon Acuff

When confronted with work and a reward, we all would prefer the reward first, and as soon as possible.  The road to awesome does not work that way.  You have to go through the learning years and the editing years, to successfully get to mastering, harvesting and guiding, every time you do something new. It requires working hard and sacrifice, energy and enthusiasm.  You can't skip stages.

Accelerate-
1- Start earlier.
2- Stand on the shoulders of giants.
3- Work harder and smarter.
4- Harvest the fields of someone else.

You don't need to go back in time to be awesome; you just have to start right now.  Regretting that you didn't start earlier is a distraction from moving on your dream today, and the reality is that today is earlier than tomorrow.  Just stay realistic.

The internet has changed our definition of expert. Anyone's opinion is utilized over professional and expert opinion.  People celebrate accomplishment-free celebrities.  The hidden message with that is that you don't have to do anything to be important.  Sometimes it comes across as everything else in life is instant.  People forget that practice makes a world of difference.  Your practice determines how you play or perform.  Nothing happens instantly and we shouldn't be expecting, or suggesting instantaneous results. We have this expectation that everything should be delivered quickly, immediately. We also need to keep in mind that we don't have to have state-of-the-art anything; technology changes every day.  The new phone you get today will be yesterday's news tomorrow.  Thinking this way, or long enough, makes you start to feel entitlement..  You start to believe that you're entitled to being an expert immediately.  You start to believe that you deserve to enter the land of harvesting.  When you climb the entitlement ladder, each rung takes you farther away from reality and what it really takes to reach awesome.  Your whole perception of the world changes from up there.  Other people start to look really tiny and insignificant, and "in the way."  People don't understand.  People don't understand the full scope of your greatness, but high on your ladder it all makes sense.  The great peril of the entitlement ladder is that it never ends.  Your judgment gets so skewed th at you eventually yell the sentence you used to make fun of other people saying.We can't climb the entitlement ladder.  Demanding something you haven't truly earned is a great way to get stuck in the land of learning. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Personal Notes:

It's really interesting to read this part of the book.  I see so much truth in the entitlement statements.  I personally know some people who display these characteristics.  Unfortunately I have thought some of these thoughts myself, and I'm not proud of that at all.  I've also been on the receiving end; I've been one of the "ants" beneath the ladder.  It really hurts when someone starts treating you like crap, because they feel so puffed up and entitled.

Simple Plan - Perfect Lyrics & Video

Amazing!

I was looking for an "anthem" song for myself, something to help me motivate myself.  I "was" considering "Perfect" by Pink, when I ran into this song.  This song says so much, so well.

I didn't realize just how much the lack of relationship with my father, has affected me.

So many times I have watched my friends interact with their fathers.....  I've watched with envy.  There is no judgement or condemnation in their relationships.   I just feel like there is just this big hole, void, where that relationship should be in my life.

I feel like I can or will never be good enough to warrant his time or approval.  I always feel the disapproval.  I honestly do not think that he realizes how the non-existant relationship, and past actions, have deeply affected me.  The ironic part is that I'm married to someone, who in some ways is very much like him.

I've always striven to be the kind of parent that never leaves a doubt in my children's minds, that I am "there" for them in any way, shape or form.  I will never judge or condemn them.  They are perfect to me.  I want them to always be secure in the knowledge that they are important and perfect to me, and most of all - loved by me.

START: What is my purpose??? Ch 03, pgs 45-52

START: Punch Fear In The Face; Escape Average; 
Do Work That Matters; by Jon Acuff

What is my purpose?
How did I get here?

Lies about "the purpose":
1- Everyone but you knows exactly what it is.
2- You'll only have one.  There is no "soulmate" concept of finding your purpose.
3- You should have figured it out by the time you're 22 years old.  Wrong answer!
4- It changes everything instantly. 
5- You have to know the finish line before you cross the starting line.

Purpose is not a final destination.  Nothing cripples you like trying to "find your purpose," or "figure out your dream," or "name your passion."  This is nonsense.

Why are the "lies about the purpose", nonsense?
1- They put tremendous pressure on you.
2- They become an idol.
3- They stop you in your tracks.

LIVE WITH PURPOSE!
Start today.  There is no waiting period.  Waiting to find your purpose tomorrow is a great way (procrastination) to ensure you don't live with purpose today.

START WHERE YOU ARE!
You can live with purpose today, regardless of your history or your place today.

START on what matters to you!
Do not get locked into single purpose statements that suffocate you.

Your passions and dreams NEVER stop developing.  Forget looking for a purpose.  Live with purpose!  Take a moment to say "thank you!"  Interact with your kids with purpose!  Don't wait for moments to reconnect to happen on their own, encourage them with intention.  Dream with purpose.  Whatever your doing, do it with purpose.

------------------------------------------------------

The Great Wall

How will you know you're living with purpose?
When you stop worrying about the great wall of purpose. 
It may seem impossible at first.  You don't need a special key to open the door to awesome.  You only need to open the door, to start.

The purpose usually finds you.  Purpose is attracted to motion, momentum, and loves to surprise us.  It rarely greets you on your doorstep.  You meet/find purpose when you least expect it.

The moment you decide that you're going to live with purpose today instead of trying to find your purpose someday, the temptation to look for shortcuts will come.

Now that you are free to start down the path of Learning, you may want to turn that freedom into a license to jump ahead.  Don't!  It never works out.

_______________________________________

"The Present"

________________________________________

Personal Notes:

Good grief!  I have been talking about "finding my purpose".  A couple weeks ago I was talking about how I had finally found my purpose for a career.  I called it "my passion".  This book is entirely right, it snuck up on me.

I did set out, right after high school, looking for a purpose in a career.  Everyone told me I needed to find my purpose, to make up my mind right then and there.  It didn't "happen" by the time I hit 22 years old, and I didn't have a clue where the finish line was.

It snuck up on me!  I found my purpose for my career in my mid 40's, not by age 22.  I found it by trial and error, meaning that I was wandering around exploring different career paths, and half-way toward my associates degree....I figure it out.  I sure did not have any idea where the finish line was going to be, when I started out on this particular journey.

As for my personal life, I still have no clue where the future lies.  I've achieved being a mother, something I have always wanted to be, but there are still many aspects of my life that I want to create and achieve.  My life is still an open book with pages left to write.

There is a mountain that still remains in front of me and that "door to awesome" is tantalizingly in front of me.  I feel like I am swimming upstream against the current, just in front of the mountain I need to conquer.  I still have a distance to go, before I can open the door to awesome.  It seems like every time I make it past a difficult point, another difficult point looms in the immediate future.

I AM making progress, however.  I am determined and I'm not giving up.

START: Dream Honestly! Pages 35-43

Start: Punch Fear In The Face; Escape Average & Do Work That Matters, by Jon Acuff

If taking the first step on the road to awesome were easy, then everybody would already be on it.  The first step isn't easy, you have to get comfortable with tension.  You have to be:

a realist and a dreamer

practical and impractical

logical and illogical

You have to be brutally realistic about your present circumstances and wildly unrealistic (optimistic) about your future circumstances.  You have to embrace this tension and make it work to your favor.  Realism doesn't prevent you from chasing your dream, it keeps you from chasing the wrong dream.

Dream Honestly

We have to be brutally realistic when we answer the question "Where am I right now?"  Answering that question honestly, is critical to our career and our life.  You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end, with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality.  Avoid the temptation to believe that being honest about your current reality is somehow not the right way to dream big.  Honestly looking at where you currently are in life, turns your present into a platform you can move on from, instead of a prison that holds you back. 

Be honest with your present and turn it into a friend.  This won't be easy, because the world's definition of dreaming is just the opposite.  People will say things like, "Step out in faith," or, "Follow your dreams and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls."  Those statements are code for, "Don't make any plans," and at worst, Abandon your current commitments."

The world's definition of dreaming is incredibly selfish.  It involves ignoring everyone you know and love.  We start to believe that dreaming or walking down the road to awesome is an inherently selfish idea.  It suggests you only have two options: abandon every commitment you have and dream, or resign yourself to an average life in order to honor your commitments.

There is another way!  Honor your commitments, even while you completely change your life and the world in the process. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Personal Notes:

Where Am I Right Now?  Be brutally honest, right?  While I'm ready to be brutally honest, I don't think I can completely "let loose" here.  I'm angry.  I'm frustrated.  I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I'm hurt.  I regret having lived the average life, all of my life.  I'm not sure when I gave up on the dreams.  I did have dreams.  At some point I pointed my expectations on achieving average.  I just did not believe in myself.  I thought that "comfortable" was enough.  

I remember how it felt, a long time ago, after I spent a full day watching television.  I'd never been allowed to freely watch television growing up.  (I look back at the way things were in my parents house, and I realize now that that was a good thing, to not be able to be a television addict.)  So to move out on my own and be able to spend a day watching television, one program after another, and do nothing else....that seemed appealing. All of a sudden I was "free".  I could relax and not worry about whether I was gonna be caught chillin' in front of cable TV.  (Cable TV not a norm in their house, back then.)  I also remember my feeling of having wasted an entire day.  It's hard to put into words, but I do remember my feelings when I realized that I had accomplished nothing.  It wasn't an appealing feeling, it was kinda depressing.  What I do not remember, is when that went from unappealing, to comfortable.  I am angry that I allowed myself to be deluded into believing that the comfort zone was desirable.

I cannot honestly sit here and say "Where did it all go wrong?".  There is a lot of good in my life.  I can, however, look back at decisions that I made when I came to a "fork in the road".  This type of thinking is what leads you into deceptive thinking.  That is what causes you to think your life is over, or past saving, when you're in your mid-40's.  This book is good for me.  It's helping me to realize that it honestly is not too late to START over. 

There were moments, as I was reading, where I was honestly connecting to what the book was saying.  It made sense.  I wanted to stop and message Mary, and tell her that "omgosh, you managed to find another book that makes sense to me."   I honestly didn't think that after "The Compound Effect", that the second book could be as relatable as the first.

This journey of my life is at another "fork in the road".  It isn't going to be easy to change and abandon the "comfort zone", now recognized as a self-imposed prison.  Every day is a new day for me, and another chance to write the future pages and make them average or awesome.  No matter what I have done in the past, I will NOT give up.  Today IS the first day of the rest of my life.

Average? or Awesome?

START: "The Start", Ch 02, pages 27-35

"The Start"

Fear tends to argue both sides of the coin, leaving you absolutely no room to stand [breathe, move].  It tells you "Don't chase your dream at all." and "If you chase your dream, you have to do it all at once." These statements are lies.

As we stand with one foot on the road to "average", and the other foot on the road to "awesome", we have to "kill" those "fear tactics".

Just start.  The starting line is the only line you [can] completely control.  The start is the only moment you're the boss of.  Don't worry about the finish.  Along the way you will meet dozens of people who are going to impact your finish.  You will have countless opportunities, experiences, and challenges that dot the map of awesome that you are following.  There will be cliffs and rivers and jungles you can't begin to fathom.  You will reach that mountaintop that is better than anything you have ever dreamed, and laugh at the idea that you thought you could plot out your own finish.

It's impossible to predict the finish.  Part of the reason it's difficult is that the path often changes by the time you get to the end.

"Don't Plan Your Life Like I Used To Plan My Speeches"

Average is so popular because average is familiar.  We all know how to do average.  Most of the people on the planet are average.  The road is well worn, the decisions are obvious, and the next steps are crystal clear.  Average is predictable.  When people are faced with the decision between awesome or average, most opt for familiar, or comfortable.  We like the idea of an awesome adventure, but most of us default to trying to manicure the road to awesome so it's as safe and predictable as the road to average.

Awesome is a little dangerous.  There may be dragons in the woods.  There are foggy and cloudy mornings and nights.  Sometimes you're not completely sure about your next step until you take it. Awesome is adventurous.  The road to awesome is defined by surpises.  It's a rambling dirt road with twists and turns that offer something new at every corner.

We want to plan that road to awesome.  We want to talk about our visions, goals.  We want to detail every step before we take them.  We want to make sure there is no room for mistakes or failure.  When we do that, we squeeze our lives and purposes too tightly and we eliminate any room for surprises.   We don't have or make time for them.  They do not fit into the plan.  We scowl when people interrupt what we're doing at work, grumble when neighbors want to talk, and curse momentary distractions.

_______________________________________________________________________

Personal Notes:

I have lived with fear for all of my life.  The average road is the one I have traveled, without deviation, because stepping away from the comfort zone is scary.  I've subdued, and eventually locked away my dreams, because I didn't think or believe that I could do it.  Eventually I came to the point where I couldn't breathe, move, function, because my self-imposed "comfort zone" became four walls closing in on me.  My comfort zone is located on the road to average.

Yesterday's reading talked about waking up, years down the road, wondering where it all went...where did all the time and opportunities go?  what happens when you run out of excuses to remain average?  what happens when the comfort zone is a private and self-imposed, prison?  You don't realize it as it is happening, but the answer all comes down to this: the comfort zone becomes a private and self-imposed prison.

Fear has lied to me, and caused me to believe that I should not pursue my dreams.  Fear fed me with lies that I was too old, it was too late to start, and that I am not good enough.  Fear has kept me locked up in my own self-imposed prison, under the initial disguise of "easy" and "comfortable".  Fear has caused me to hide "me" for entirely too long!!!

I also learned in these first 35 pages of this book, that being in the 40's is NOT the end of the world.  It doesn't have to be too late.  I can still head toward the road to awesome.  I may still be like a "lighthouse" that warns of "crashes" that have happened before, but I can learn from my mistakes and still have my opportunities, my chances, and my "harvest". 

I don't know how to be awesome.  This is something that I am going to have to learn how to be.  I need to re-discover the "me" that has become buried physically, emotionally and mentally.  I need to surround myself in people who can, with their presence, strengthen the person who is hiding underneath all of the self-imposed confinement.

Who is the "me" who has been locked-up?
I'm going to post who I think this "me" is, and in a couple weeks, months, years, I want to check back and see who I thought I was, and who I have become. 

Defining "Me" - likes to laugh, enjoys companionship and time with friends.  "Me" enjoys having fun and getting out and doing things.  "Me" likes to be appreciated and treated with respect.

START.....Punch Fear In The Face. Escape Average. Do Work That Matters. Ch 01, pgs 1-25

START. Punch Fear in the Face.  Escape Average.  Do Work That Matters.
By Jon Acuff

This is the book I have undertaken to read next, after "The Compound Effect".

"What do you do when all the excuses you used, to not chase your dream, are gone?"  Interesting thought!  The book goes on to say, a little later that we do not want "to get to 80 or 90 years old and realize we mortgaged the best years of our lives doing something we weren't called to do."  We don't "want to look back on life and wonder where it all went."   Isn't that the truth!?!  I have thought that a couple of times already, and I'm not even close to 80-90 years.  It continues by talking about waking up one day and realizing that we've "coasted through the last ten years of ...life," and knowing that "that same thing would happen again, if [we're] not careful." 

Five (Traditional) Stages to Awesome:
1- Learning
2- Editing
3- Mastering
4- Harvesting
5- Guiding

Personally, I didn't follow the steps, as laid out by the author of this book. 
I did a lot of learning in my 20's, but I learned more in the aspect of "trial by fire" or "learning by mistakes".  I didn't go to college, I dove into having children, getting into a bad marriage, and my priorities were all messed/mixed up. 

I continued this behavior into my 30's, although what editing I did, was in myself.  I became (editing) a better mother.  I tried to better my family life.  I still was prone to learning by mistakes and not the best decisions.  My priorities started changing (editing) in my 30's. 

My 40's, of which I am currently in, consist of even more learning and editing.  Perhaps "mastering" IS where I am at, in life, now.  I am striving to be the best mother I can.  I am striving to learn and better myself with a college education.  I am honing in on my goals.  I'm recognizing a change in myself, one that requires more change and an "evolving" of sorts.  I do have a "greater certainty about what [ I am ] good at, and how to do it regularly."

I haven't achieved the "harvesting" part of life yet.  I haven't "planted healthy and well placed seeds" to be gathering in productive and rewarding results from my past.  I do take pride in my children, and I do see the results of my "planting" where they are concerned....but since I didn't figure out where I was going, and I didn't even try to do so earlier (20's) in life, I have no long-term career to bank retirement on.  I have no house that belongs to me.  I have no harvest to collect.  I have no money in the bank. 

I didn't spend my 30's and 40's working hard, to achieve my abundant harvest (50's) on time. 
I won't reach the "guiding" stage (60's) with an "illuminating (light) and awesome path" of experience.

I didn't take the "path to awesome", I chose the "path to average"...maybe even "below average".  I've "coasted on the path to average, never daring to believe [ I ] could learn, edit, and master [my] own bit of awesomeness".   I "graduated from high school...effectively shift[ed] into neutral."  I made "some progress".  This "average path [was] the easier of the two paths (awesome or average), and it [was] dangerously comfortable."

I will still guide, but I will be an example, like a "lighthouse, indicating the rocks on which [ I ] crashed" in my life.

There are people out there who end up bitter, because of the choices they made in their 20's, 30's, 40's, etc.  I do not want to become one of those people.  I will not be the cranky, old neighbor, who everyone avoids. 

I don't have 40 years to build my abundant harvest.

AWESOME IS AVAILABLE LIKE NEVER BEFORE  (pg 15)

1- Retirement Is Dead.  There is no promise of a guaranteed Social Security or Retirement.  People begin new careers in their 40's-50's.  I needed to hear this!!!  The "retirement age" will continue to stretch into the 70's, and eventually maybe even 80's. 

2- Hope Is Boss.  Yesterday is gone.  The careless times of our youth, are no more.  The world is changing.

3- Anyone Can Play.  The future is wide open.  Opportunities are endless.  The traditional "path to awesome" has changed.  The rules have changed. 

You do not have to be in your 20's to start a new adventure.

WE ALL USED TO BE AWESOME.  (pg 22)

When I was a kid, I had dreams and those dreams were possible.  Somewhere along the way I lost sight of them.  People "defeated" and "deflated" each of those dreams, and my choices that followed the, buried the dreams.  Eventually my "left brain" gained a voice, and that voice said "that's impossible", "they'll laugh at you", and "don't be stupid".  "It play[ed] an important role in [my] thinking, because it is the voice that [taught] me to not touch the hot stove, or jump off the top stair, like [ I ] am a superhero." ...."It can also make a very logical and compelling argument that what it says is final. .... we grew up....came to believe the left brain's assertions, and as a result, we lost the sense that awesome was around the corner.  Instead, we started to believe that awesome was not in the cards for us, or that it was illogical or simply childish."

Your perception does truly fuel your reality.

Your age is no longer the primary factor that determines where you are, on the map.
Life is now less about how old you are, and more about when you decide to live.
One simple truth:  I only just have to start.