I started
"Slim in 6" today. I'm not gonna lie, it's gonna take some mental willpower to keep me invested in this, and I'm going to TRY. They say it takes 6 weeks to build a new habit, and this program is 6 weeks long, but I may have to take it slower and lengthen it. The reality is that I am out of shape. I need to work into it slowly, and not hurt myself.
There are some things that happened in my past, that have contributed to my dislike of exercise. I'm not looking to place blame or point fingers. To explain a little: For some years, I was put into an exercise program, something that I call "extreme" exercise. It wasn't like the amount of exercise you do in school, it was magnified.
An example of what an exercise session would consist of, toward the end of this time in my life, was: 200 Jumping Jacks, 300 Sit-ups, 180 female push-ups (or 90 male), 90 4-count leg-lifts, 90 8-count leg-lifts, 180 count "point-rock", 90 (on both sides) knee-bends, and sometimes an additional amount of jumping jacks. These were usually done in the early morning, but they were occasionally called for during the day, in addition to the morning routine.
The positive side of this is that this kept me in relatively good shape. A high-light in that time of my life, was being able to break the school record for number of sit-ups done in one minute. My high was 76 sit-ups in one minute, which was over the number 67, the school record. It was in gym class, and they made me do it a second time, because they thought they miscounted. I did it twice in a row.
Anyway, part of changing is dealing with the things in the past that have upset you, caused you stress, and which contribute to negative mind-sets and bad habits. I am at a point in my life today, that I really do NOT care to hear the negative remarks that I could face for posting this. I'm being honest and I'm trying to let go. I have to talk about what happened to me, to be able to deal with it and let go. Hiding it inside, or from the public, is not releasing.
The negative issues in my past, are what is holding me back. You have to understand that holding things in and hiding the problems, are what has contributed to the physical state I am in now. I never took up smoking, drugs, alcohol....I began a food addiction. I HAVE A FOOD ADDICTION. Unlike the other destructive habits, I cannot quit this habit cold-turkey. I cannot walk away from food and say "I am not going to do this anymore!" Somehow I have to learn to find a way to co-exist with food in a healthy manner. On the same token, somehow I have to learn how to incorporate exercise back into my life. I am not going to get healthy again, without finding a healthy balance of diet and exercise.
I have waited way too long to begin the steps necessary to change my life. I have let people and fears dictate my actions, and look where this has gotten me. It is time to believe in myself, invest in myself and to begin anew, the first day of the rest of my life.
With that having been said, I will close this blog entry.
Have a good day everyone.
P.S. There are some people who may find issue with some of the information that I have shared in this post. You're entitled to your opinion and I respect that, but I also am entitled to the right to express myself. I am hurting no one with my honesty. What I shared, was my history and is my reality. Until you have walked a mile in my shoes, you cannot possibly understand how experiences in my life have formed me, shaped me and impacted me. I won't apologize for being real.
