START.....Punch Fear In The Face. Escape Average. Do Work That Matters. Ch 01, pgs 1-25

START. Punch Fear in the Face.  Escape Average.  Do Work That Matters.
By Jon Acuff

This is the book I have undertaken to read next, after "The Compound Effect".

"What do you do when all the excuses you used, to not chase your dream, are gone?"  Interesting thought!  The book goes on to say, a little later that we do not want "to get to 80 or 90 years old and realize we mortgaged the best years of our lives doing something we weren't called to do."  We don't "want to look back on life and wonder where it all went."   Isn't that the truth!?!  I have thought that a couple of times already, and I'm not even close to 80-90 years.  It continues by talking about waking up one day and realizing that we've "coasted through the last ten years of ...life," and knowing that "that same thing would happen again, if [we're] not careful." 

Five (Traditional) Stages to Awesome:
1- Learning
2- Editing
3- Mastering
4- Harvesting
5- Guiding

Personally, I didn't follow the steps, as laid out by the author of this book. 
I did a lot of learning in my 20's, but I learned more in the aspect of "trial by fire" or "learning by mistakes".  I didn't go to college, I dove into having children, getting into a bad marriage, and my priorities were all messed/mixed up. 

I continued this behavior into my 30's, although what editing I did, was in myself.  I became (editing) a better mother.  I tried to better my family life.  I still was prone to learning by mistakes and not the best decisions.  My priorities started changing (editing) in my 30's. 

My 40's, of which I am currently in, consist of even more learning and editing.  Perhaps "mastering" IS where I am at, in life, now.  I am striving to be the best mother I can.  I am striving to learn and better myself with a college education.  I am honing in on my goals.  I'm recognizing a change in myself, one that requires more change and an "evolving" of sorts.  I do have a "greater certainty about what [ I am ] good at, and how to do it regularly."

I haven't achieved the "harvesting" part of life yet.  I haven't "planted healthy and well placed seeds" to be gathering in productive and rewarding results from my past.  I do take pride in my children, and I do see the results of my "planting" where they are concerned....but since I didn't figure out where I was going, and I didn't even try to do so earlier (20's) in life, I have no long-term career to bank retirement on.  I have no house that belongs to me.  I have no harvest to collect.  I have no money in the bank. 

I didn't spend my 30's and 40's working hard, to achieve my abundant harvest (50's) on time. 
I won't reach the "guiding" stage (60's) with an "illuminating (light) and awesome path" of experience.

I didn't take the "path to awesome", I chose the "path to average"...maybe even "below average".  I've "coasted on the path to average, never daring to believe [ I ] could learn, edit, and master [my] own bit of awesomeness".   I "graduated from high school...effectively shift[ed] into neutral."  I made "some progress".  This "average path [was] the easier of the two paths (awesome or average), and it [was] dangerously comfortable."

I will still guide, but I will be an example, like a "lighthouse, indicating the rocks on which [ I ] crashed" in my life.

There are people out there who end up bitter, because of the choices they made in their 20's, 30's, 40's, etc.  I do not want to become one of those people.  I will not be the cranky, old neighbor, who everyone avoids. 

I don't have 40 years to build my abundant harvest.

AWESOME IS AVAILABLE LIKE NEVER BEFORE  (pg 15)

1- Retirement Is Dead.  There is no promise of a guaranteed Social Security or Retirement.  People begin new careers in their 40's-50's.  I needed to hear this!!!  The "retirement age" will continue to stretch into the 70's, and eventually maybe even 80's. 

2- Hope Is Boss.  Yesterday is gone.  The careless times of our youth, are no more.  The world is changing.

3- Anyone Can Play.  The future is wide open.  Opportunities are endless.  The traditional "path to awesome" has changed.  The rules have changed. 

You do not have to be in your 20's to start a new adventure.

WE ALL USED TO BE AWESOME.  (pg 22)

When I was a kid, I had dreams and those dreams were possible.  Somewhere along the way I lost sight of them.  People "defeated" and "deflated" each of those dreams, and my choices that followed the, buried the dreams.  Eventually my "left brain" gained a voice, and that voice said "that's impossible", "they'll laugh at you", and "don't be stupid".  "It play[ed] an important role in [my] thinking, because it is the voice that [taught] me to not touch the hot stove, or jump off the top stair, like [ I ] am a superhero." ...."It can also make a very logical and compelling argument that what it says is final. .... we grew up....came to believe the left brain's assertions, and as a result, we lost the sense that awesome was around the corner.  Instead, we started to believe that awesome was not in the cards for us, or that it was illogical or simply childish."

Your perception does truly fuel your reality.

Your age is no longer the primary factor that determines where you are, on the map.
Life is now less about how old you are, and more about when you decide to live.
One simple truth:  I only just have to start.

Procrastination - Your Time Has Come!

So many times I tell (lie to) myself, something along the lines of: "Not right now, I'll do it tomorrow."

There comes a time when you realize that "tomorrow" is going to come, regardless of what your choices are today.  I cannot continue to put-off until tomorrow, what needs done today.  I know what I want tomorrow to be like and continuing to procastinate is not going to get me where I want to be.

I want:
...a house that is mine to do with, what I will.
...to be financially fit.
...a full-time job in a career I will enjoy.
...to wear that ideal (in my head) size again.
...my health to be on track.
...my headaches to leave me alone.
...to go "home".

This is just a partial list, but it is a good representation of where I want to be.  Of these, I am making progress on only 4 of these, at the moment.  I'm ready to up that ante to 5.  I'm not sure I know how to make the headaches stop. 

I'm ready to start working on the health aspect again.  I did pretty good today.  There is always room for improvement.  I have my "plate" full right now, but I know it is all in the interest of progress. 

It's time to stop procrastinating, and to start narrowing in on my "tomorrow".



Locked Doors

As I read a family member's "short stories", I was flooded with memories.  These memories were stashed behind locked doors, in a vain attempt to shield my heart from the painful thuds of remembering.  You can never outrun memories.  They come calling, in full-force, once someone or something, cracks the locked doors open. 

I have such a broken heart when it comes to dogs.  I have met so many special souls and they have each touched my heart in their own special ways.  With some, I have regrets.  With others, I have special memories.  With a few more, my heart breaks every time I think of them.

Corky-  So smart, gone too soon.
Corky #2- Sweet, gentle, smart dog.
Lucky-  Sweet soul, too gentle for strenuous expectations.
Black Jack- Fun, playful, my heart breaks for you.
Topper- Gone way too soon.
Dutches- You stole my heart, my best friend, confidant, I miss you so much!
Lucky #2- You deserved so much more than you received.  Such a sweet soul.
Bear- You deserved more than you got.
Lady- I'm sorry. 
Toby- I didn't know.
Tom, Sonny, Spook, Stormy, Cuddles, Stormy #2, Harry, Pete and Brownie.  You are not forgotten.

I know this journal should be my safe place, where I'm free to say what I want or need to...but I'm not yet comfortable in testing that out fully.

As I read the stories, some were enlightening and some were a little different than I remember.

I will say this.... before you decide to bring a pet home, make sure YOUR priorities are in order.  I believe that ALL dogs are capable of giving such unconditional love, companionship and can be your best friend.  They deserve all the love there is to give, and they will definitely love you no matter what you give or do not give them. 

Rest in Peace my friends.

I want to thank each and every pet that has come into my life, and tell them....I love you!

Unloading.

There are times where I really wish I had someone I could pour my heart out to.
I need to unload my troubles.  

Do you not see how disrespectful to me that you are?  Do you not see how you hurt me with your comments and actions?  Do you just not care?  That's what it seems like to me.  You often treat me like dirt underneath your feet, like I am a person without worthy feelings.  That is the impression you give.  I often feel like my thoughts and feelings are of no importance to you.  You insult my intelligence and make me feel like I am a 5-year-old, when I am a real person with real feelings and knowledge. When I try to talk to you, you show absolutely NO interest in my subject, unless you chastise me or it is of importance to you.  You often change the subject to something that interests you.  You do that to others, as well, it's not just me. I see the reactions of others reflected in their faces when you do this.  I often wonder if you are honestly ignorant of what you are doing, or if you just are that self-centered and just do not care.  You sit so high on your own pedestal that no one can come close to meeting your standard of acceptance.  I think we all are $hit beneath your feet.  We just do not come close to your level of intelligence.  That has to be it.

Having put words to some of my thoughts, I will close for now.  Talking to a journal is not the same as talking to a person, but then again, the person I should be able to talk to....is unavailable.

Sigh!

Diet Rehab: Identify Your Mantra

We have to identify our problem with precision before we can do anything about it.

Our mantra tells us what we can expect from the world and from ourselves.  If we are going to change our behavior and get new results, we will get a lot further if we start by changing our mantra.  We cannot change our mantra until we identify our mantra.

Here are some "ravenous for dopamine" mantras:
* Something has to change
* I'm just not good enough
* I never really succeed
* I let people down a lot
* My life is not going the way I thought it would
* I cannot finish anything
* No one really understands me
* Is there all there is?
* I just cannot get started
* I cannot do anything right
* Something is wrong with me
* I just cannot get it together
* I feel helpless
* I wish I was somewhere else

If none of the above fit, take a few minutes and really get down the sentence or phrase that captures your core beliefs about who you are and how the world responds to you.  What words do you keep hearing (in your mind) that make you feel discouraged, unmotivated, and inadequate?

Mine:
- Something has to change
- I never succeed
- I cannot finish anything
- I cannot get started
- I cannot do anything right
- Something is wrong with me
- I cannot get it together
- Why bother?
- I'll start tomorrow
- I'll do it next time
- It won't make any difference, anyway.

I think my #1 is "I'll start over tomorrow", meaning I can do <whatever bad behavior/habit> now, because I can start over tomorrow.  Another way I tell myself this is "I'll do it later".  It's all about procrastination, banking on tomorrow.  There's always an excuse with me.

I need to STOP MAKING EXCUSES!

Diet Rehab, pgs 101-117 "Feeling Blue = Dopamine Deficiency"

Chapter 5: Feeling Blue: Ravenous for Dopamine

When you're feeling anxious and fearful, you're hungry for serotonin.  When you're sad, lonely or listless, you're ravenous for dopamine.  Dopamine is the brain chemical associated with thrills and challenges.  It comes mostly from the anticipation.  When our dopamine levels are healthy, life seems fun and interesting, and we are frequently tingling with excitement.  When our dopamine levels are low, we tend to feel listless and blue, trapped in a boring, dead-end life.  Lack of dopamine can also make us feel unmotivated.  It becomes harder to focus on long-term goals, to defer gratification, and to muster endurance.  Low dopamine levels can send us rushing for quick-fix foods and behaviors.  High-fat foods cue our brains to release unsustainable amounts of dopamine, giving us a chemical rush of excitement and pleasure, and setting us up for an addiction to food.

There are many reasons we might end up dopamine deficient.  Life circumstances might have been constricting or boring, lack of sleep, and stress can cause a dopamine deficiency.  You might have inherited a tendency to lower dopamine levels or developed them through a childhood marked by high-stress and high-risk situations, such as when children grow up in an environment of rage or abuse.  Any type of dopamine deficiency leaves us feeling low and listless.

If our dopamine levels are too low, we don't get the kick we seek from the high-fat food we turn to, and we continue craving fat until our dopamine levels finally rise.  If you are trying to overcome a craving for dopamine, be compassionate with yourself, because it may feel as though your entire body is conspiring to pull you back into the addiction.  Dopamine is the reward for any type of pleasure and it's hard to not want more and more of it.

A key dopamine stimulator is caffeine, which gives us a quick high followed by an uncomfortable crash.  Caffeine does suppress your appetite during the buzz, but you might feel hungrier than ever when you crash.  Lack of sleep lowers both your dopamine and your serotonin levels, and caffeine can interfere with your ability to get a restful sleep.

Dopamine booster foods are crucial for giving you the lift that you may now be getting from caffeine, nicotine, or high-fat foods.  You can also harness the power of your mind to replace pitfall thoughts, which generate discouragement, fatigue, and lack of motivation, with booster thoughts, which generate excitement, energy and determination.

Transform your mantra by adding booster activities is one of the most powerful thought- and mood-transforming tools you can have.

Today's PIMUS

Rise & Shine 4 Today:

I am grateful for:  God, my children, my dogs, my husband, health, life, today, basic luxuries.
Sending love to: Christina.  (I reserve the right to repeatedly focus on any certain individual, subject)
Number 1 goal:  Earning my college degree.
Daily Reading: The Compound Effect, conclusion.  Diet Rehab
One Hour Focus: school work
Three Priorities for today (MVPs): Homework, Errands, Focus on PIMUS
Bonus MVP for today: Create Weekly Rhythm Register spreadsheet.
Reward:

Sweet Dreams:

--How did the day go?

--What do I need to carry over to tomorrow?

--What else needs to be added?

--What is no longer important?

--Journal the day.

--Read something inspirational.

Positive, Inspirational, Motivational, Uplifting and Supportive (PIMUS)